The McGill Nightly

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Anti Fall Reading Week Campaign Wins by a Landslide Minority

October 13, 2019|Lots of views|

What we could be doing for a week.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, McGill once again rejected the pleas of students crippled by assignments and midterms by not allowing a fall reading week. Despite students passing 36 SSMU referendums by a majority of over 95%, McGill sided with seven nerds who ran the official anti-reading week campaign.

These seven students tabled relentlessly in McLennan Library, relishing the sounds of despair and panic attacks as students struggled to finish their five group projects, two essays, and 17 webworks. The nerds managed to finish all their coursework during add-drop period, allowing them more time to run the campaign.

The consensus that McGill students do not need a fall reading week was agreed upon enthusiastically by the prestigious McGill Administration, a bunch of old people who know exactly what it is like to be a student today.

At the campaign’s victory party, the kids were seen salivating for an alarming two straight hours, thinking about the long lectures they would be attending while other schools were enjoying drinking and debauchery on the beach somewhere. Big Suze was seen stumbling drunkenly around the victory party, muttering something about agreeing to implement a fall reading week if 400 more referendums are voted on by the student body.

At press time, no one cared that much because no one goes to class.
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