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The McGill Nightly

McGill's Second Least Trusted News Source

SSMU Restarts Fall Referendum Due to Zero Votes, Gets Zero Votes Again

November 14|Lots of views|
If you're a McGill student, a lie. Source: A liar.
If you're a McGill student, a lie. Source: A liar.

In what SSMU was convinced was the “glitch of the century”, the Fall referendum they restarted due to zero votes has also received zero votes, our reporters reported after being barraged with SSMU emails insisting that they vote. In the string of increasingly desperate-sounding emails they sent out, SSMU was quoted, “Please vote in our Fall referendum. You can even abstain if you want, we just really need at least 5 votes to feel important. We’re begging you, we’ll even give you free McGill Daily merch if you do!”

Needless to say, the subsequent Fall referendum received zero votes as well, leaving SSMU totally clueless as to what should be done with regards to key issues, such as the McGill Sweet Potato Appreciation Club Improvement Fee and the Make Meetings Three Hours Longer Because What Else Can We Even Do On A Saturday Night vote.

In a last ditch effort to regain the school’s attention, SSMU decided to have their president get involved in a scandal, and then told everyone to just shut up and not talk about it. More on this story from the Nightly as it develops.

At press time, SSMU was conducting a vote on whether or not to conduct a referendum on whether or not to conduct a vote on whether or not to conduct another referendum.

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