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Academic Advisors to Be Phased Out Following Invention of Google, Internet

January 19|Lots of views|

The new and improved academic advisors. Source: a confused U0 Arts student.

In a meeting of the McGill board of directors, the academic advisor position was moved to be phased out in a vote of 8 to 1. "All they did was look up your question word for word on the internet, so after finding out Google was invented 2 decades ago we have decided to cut out the middle man." McGill said in a statement released recently. "In order to continue the good service our students have grown accustomed to, the lines will still be excruciatingly long and students will still leave more confused than ever."

To make sure the academic advisors aren't missed, the computers at the advising office will have three pre-recorded statements, "Hi, sorry for the wait","Do what's best for you", and "I'm totally unqualified for this". The third statement will only be muttered under the computer's breath in between appointments.

All academic advisors have been reassigned to work at the “Service” Point, where their skill in not providing service will be used to great effect.
Computers also applied to the Service Point, but were denied due to their efficiency.

At press time, AGSEM was campaigning to get the computers paid 27$ an hour plus full dental and health insurance.
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