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BREAKING: Two McGill Students Expelled for Creation of Fight Club

November 11|Lots of views|

Leaked photo from the event. Source: McGill Poll Party comment section.

Two U0 McGill students, Tyler McCall MacBain and Tyler McCall MacBain, were expelled on Monday following their founding of an underground fight club, our sources confirmed. The reasons for expulsion given by the McGill Administration was, “Encouraging violence in the McGill community, putting students at risk for catching the virus, and breaking rules one and two of Fight Club. Rumors also circulated that illegal samosa sales were taking place at the event."

The administration was initially compliant with the idea of a fight club, with some members of the faculty even attending the meetings themselves. But once Lord Reverend Vice Associate Provost Fabrice Lebeau was beaten by Maxime from RVC, emails in cryptic English were quickly sent out to McGill, urging them to expel Tyler and Tyler. This cancelled all other scheduled fights, including Igor Sadikov’s lifetime dream of fighting a Zionist.

Tyler and Tyler were not extremely well liked by the students. Both Tylers lived for months in an empty Solin Hall, which is just as disgusting as the house in the movie. Many said Tyler had an odd tendency to refer to himself as third person body parts, such as, “I am the McGill Administration’s non-existent sense of morality.”

The events were not without casualties, however. One student was beaten nearly to death by a rabid RVC resident, but was quickly revived by the “basic first aid” provided by Tyler and Tyler.
SSMU was tipped off about the casualties from the club, but they were too busy planning Sweet Potato Awareness Month to do anything.

At press time, the RVC floor 11 Casino was shut down by the police.
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