Students Flock to Attend Nine-Person Parties as Quebec Loosens from Laws to Suggestions
February 14|So many views|
One more person and this party is a festering cesspool of virus transmission. Source: Francois Legualt’s House Party.
McGill students flocked to attend nine-person parties as Quebec dropped laws limiting fun and opted for suggestions to limit fun, the Nightly staff reported whilst collectively obliterated at a nine-person party. This news comes on the heels of Quebec’s announcement to legalize fun incrementally over the next month, beginning with allowing only 50% fun and progressing to 100% fun by mid-March.
Francois Legault smiled with contentment as his suggestion held equal footing as his laws, watching as students honoured him by keeping all their parties to less than ten people and three social bubbles. “Nine-person parties are where it’s at! Even though we’re not being threatened with exorbitant fines, sometimes it just feels good to know you’re not killing people by having eleven people over,” explained U2 student Carson Porter in an interview with the Nightly. “This is exactly what parties were like in 2019, right? I was briefly at a 4 person gathering with people from 4 different bubbles and I felt so unsafe. Thankfully I had Legault's suggestions to let me know when the virus starts transmitting."
The news was received with mixed reactions from the student body. In a Zoom interview with an N-95 mask-wearing Daily editor alone in their room, the editor mentioned that “we really aren’t ready for fun to resume. I mean, 95% of our content depends on a complete lack of fun here at McGill. What will we write about if things are fun again?”
SSMU members, on the other hand, were ecstatic for the return of fun, or in their definition of the word ‘fun’, ten-hour meetings arguing with each other about quizzical details of McGill club logos.
At press time, eleven McGill students instantly died after attending an eleven-person indoor gathering, but it wasn’t due to on-campus COVID transmission so who cares.