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The McGill (Nightly)

McGill's Second Least Trusted News Source

Group of Random Farmers in West Island Pretend to Be McGill Students

29/09/2019|A ton of views|
Old MacDonald had a university, E I E I O
Old MacDonald had a university, E I E I O

There is a new meaning to the age-old proverb, “Old MacDonald had a farm”.

In a shocking turn of events, over 8,000 sweaty farmers in the faraway lands of Saint-Anne-de-Bellevue have claimed to be students of the prestigious McGill University. Even though McGill is approximately 10,000 kilometres eastwards, the dirty hillbillies pile into their tractors every morning and drive into town, where they pretend to attend classes and afford McGill tuition with the money they make peddling fresh asparagus.

The Nightly sent reporters to investigate the claim, and found that the group has built model classrooms in their farmland, which act just like McGill classes. The university is even run by a model dean, the most revered of the townsfolk. Our reporter noted the farmers were already wearing halloween costumes, talking endlessly about a party that will ‘definitely convince McGill students we matter’.

Although our reporters could neither confirm nor deny the farmers’ outlandish claims, there is one thing we can all be sure of: these farmers are still more educated than your average Concordia student.

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