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The McGill Nightly

McGill"s Second Least Trusted News Source

McGill Daily Upset That Students are Happy Again

September 5|A ton of views|
What the McGill Daily wished every student looked like. Source: <a href="https://www.mcgilldaily.com/2021/09/mcgill-returns-to-in-person-schooling/" target="_blank">https://www.mcgilldaily.com/2021/09/mcgill-returns-to-in-person-schooling/</a>
What the McGill Daily wished every student looked like. Source: https://www.mcgilldaily.com/2021/09/mcgill-returns-to-in-person-schooling/

Following two straight years of the McGill Daily bitching about school being online, the McGill Daily got right back to bitching as they bitched about school being in person again. “Look at all these happy students, walking around campus and enjoying themselves. We have to ruin it immediately” the Daily’s editors remarked in an exclusive interview with the Nightly. The Daily even wrote an article quoting a bunch of students hating on in person classes. Coincidentally, these students had no last name, no program, and had eerily similar names to all of the McGill Daily editors.

The McGill Daily editors continued to look on in horror as thousands of incoming freshmen at frosh had fun. They reminisced about the good old days of online frosh, where sensitivity training was three out of four of the days, and everybody was miserable. The McGill Daily then set up a Facebook group called “Survey Festival”, which they used to upload pictures and obsessively analyze them to try and identify and doxx students standing less than 6 feet apart at beach day.

Even the miserable fucks on McGill Reddit were happy about in person school, but this had no impact on the Daily’s outlook. “The way we see it, if they're not miserable, they are not McGill students. Also, please read our great newspaper, our horoscopes are at least as accurate as our reporting” the Daily’s editors shilled. The only ones more devastated at the sight of the happy students was the prestigious McGill administration, who had plotted all summer to send increasingly cryptic emails so that even though school would be held in person, no one would find out.

At press time, the McGill Daily was bitching about the McGill Nightly bitching about the McGill Daily.

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