OSD to Start Charging Students to Take Notes
01/03/2020|A ton of views|
What note takers used to be able to afford. Source: A (now homeless) note taker.
Feeling as though their current compensation of 0$ is too high, the OSD has announced that all future note-takers will need to pay a $50 fee to take notes. Note takers, who were previously treated like royalty, making a whopping $50 a semester, were dismayed to hear the news. “We used to have it so good,” one student explained. “We were making out like bandits, getting paid $1.04 per hour. Now that’s all gone.”
When asked whether their new policy was affecting the number of students offering to take notes for the program, the OSD was skeptical. “We still enter note takers into a raffle for a 50$ amazon gift card! I mean, who wouldn’t want to do hours of work for a tiny chance of being forced to spend $50 on some useless crap?”
The majority of students who formerly used note taking were angered, but there was a silver lining for some. "It's not all bad," said former note user Rachel Jones. "Sure, I haven't been paired with any note takers and now I'm failing all of my classes, but at least I don't have to sift through a sea of notifications to see my latest announcements on Mycourses.”
When pressed for comment, McGill explained, “Money is really tight right now, we are just trying to be smart about our money and use it in a way that is best for our students.” On an unrelated note, McGill will be spending $5 million on renovating the outdoor rink. Work is expected to be done by the summer.
We also asked McGill about AGSEM’s attempt to get note takers to unionize, to which they got pale and clutched their wallets tightly.
At press time, a group of ADHD students gathered outside the OSD, protesting violently until they saw a bird and forgot what they were protesting about.