NO KEVIN. YOU CAN'T AFFORD THIS ADDICTION ANYMORE. Source: Rib Eaters Anonymous
Sources confirmed Friday that local economics student Kevin Cosgrove will be going on an involuntary hunger strike for the next three months, after he managed to blow $2,000 of meal plan money in two weeks by eating 29 dollar steaks for three meals a day. This news was met with roaring applause and evil cackles from the cafeteria staff, who spent their entire careers overcharging students, waiting for this very day to come.
When the news broke, students began taking bets as to what would kill Kevin first; his honours economics course load or his chronic malnourishment. However, our writers’ money is on both, as Kevin embarks on his hardest Econ project of his McGill career: budgeting his remaining $2.23 for the 95 days left in the semester.
On the contrary, Kevin’s best friend, Evan McNeil, took the cost effective approach of eating just Kind bars and complimentary sriracha sauce three meals a day, somehow stretching his meal plan for a McGill record of 6 weeks and three days.
In an exclusive interview with The Nightly, Kevin said he "always thought freshman 15 was slang for the 15 pounds gained during freshman year, but the way this is going my freshman 15 might just be me weighing 15 pounds by the end of the semester."